f I had a time machine there are two things I might go
back and do; one is find the person who invented the word “bling” and strand
them on a very deserted island somewhere before his or her endlessly annoying
prolific utterance can be made. Another, find the guy who invented ‘dam’ ice
and ask him what dark forces he worshipped to have influenced such a hideous
invention.
In my humble opinion ‘fair’ ice is the best overall. That’s
the kind you get at the State Fair that’s round with the little hole through
it. They sometimes use it at sporting events as well. It’s great to let melt
then make an ice-ring for your tongue. Second mention is mini ‘ball’ ice from
the machines that have ice and water mix, like the ones from hospitals. There’s
always the classic ‘square,’ or cube ice that comes from trays, and the mini
‘flat’ ice available in restaurants is very practical. But then somebody having
a bad day decided to invent the most annoying, the most nonsensical ice to
grace consumer icemakers and infuriate unsuspecting seekers of low temp liquids
everywhere—dam ice.
Dam ice is the ice produced by many automatic icemakers that
has a nice glass-hugging curve on one side that very efficiently dams up your
drink when you raise your glass. Oh sure you can wuss out and use a straw, but
the men among us like to strain ice with our teeth. Try that with dam ice and
you get a dam overflow down your cheeks.
The option button below the ice dispenser nozzle that reads
‘CUBE’ is a lie. Good thing there’s a ‘CRUSH’ button next to it.
